fleurdelisgal

Writer's Block: Call Me

2009-06-03T03:32:01Z

Do you still use a landline at home, or do you rely completely on your cell phone?

I am a pure-d solely cell phone user. I have two lines (don't ask). One number is my 'home' number and I can take it anywhere. The other is my usually shared mobile number.

36 Hours and I'm "Clarity" clear...

2008-11-30T02:17:20Z

What a strange trip this Thanksgiving break has been...

I rigged myself up in equal parts excitement, reluctance and cabaret costume for Thursday's Thanksgiving Parade in Houston. I hadn't bellydanced in a few years, but my former teacher had asked me to be a part of it, so I did. It was fun for the most part...c'mon, sparklies, silk, doumbeks & tablas - OH MY! :) The downside was the pace of the parade. The waiting for it to kick off was almost unbearable. Once we were going - there was little chance to actually dance! There were only a couple of times we were able to slow down enough to bust a move out. Let me just tell you: "jazz runs" & bellydancing do not meld well. The upshot was seeing my faux-niece, the divine Miss M. Why an upshot you ask? Well, it has been over a year since I last saw her. Her mother apparently took advantage of a situation to excise me from her and her family's life... What was the situation? I am not really sure myself. I just recall I was voted off the island. It hurt for a long while, as I had looked upon her as one of my closest friends and the sister I chose. Despite that, she had let me down and left me in the lurch a few times over the last few years. And to boot, after the aforementioned 'situation' ("s.o.m."? "situation of mystery"?) she blatantly kept my ex-boyfriend and his new paramour... That was after saying "Oh, we won't choose between you!"...um, yeah, pull my other leg, I swear it plays "whistlin' dixie". Ah, yes, I digress (if you aren't used to it by now...there is still time to save yourself) - the upshot was seeing Miss M. I had been around her since before she was even a year old - she's on the cusp of eleven years old. This past Feb was the first birthday of hers that I had not been invited to. It smarted. I can only hope that her exceptionally bright self sees thru her mother's lies and fabrications. I hope to have a mutual friend (that has been greatly disparaged by the mother, but doesn't know it that I am aware of) get something to Miss M for Yule. Seeing her at the parade was nice, I wanted desperately to go give her a hug and let her know that in the coming years of teen bullshit and uncertainty, Aunt Wendl is here for her, but I did not - her mother and father were right there, but I didn't acknowledge them. I am not even sure Miss M saw me, but I hope she did.

Then, yesterday the only Friday the Texas Renaissance Festival (or "faire", "TRF") was open, I had an encounter of a different kind. I saw my "son by another mother". The ex-boyfriend (I'll refer to him as "chef") I spoke of earlier...his youngest. When 'chef' and I started dating (2 years after his divorce, but as I discovered he didn't really ever stop dating/screwing others for more than a week or so that I can tell once we were established), his kids were 16, 14, & 13. I had known them since they were 8, 6 & 5, being as I used to bellydance in a troupe w/their mother. So, there we were at the faire and as my friends and I were chatting to some other friends, an overripe redhead in far too skimpy an outfit, but to her credit, it wasn't chain mail joined our garrulous group. It was chef's ex-wife, her husband of 1-1/2 years, the daughter (now 19), her boyfriend/fiancee(?) and the youngest boy, now 16. I was glad to see him, he looked good, sullen as ever, but I know he's very bright and has a very dry sense of humor. He was the only one I would trust w/my cooking gear when we all lived together...yes, I even didn't care for the 'chef' to use my stuff.

After seeing Miss M and the Mitch Hedberg-look-alike in the span of 36 hours after not being sure I would ever see them again...it was (and still is) interesting and leaves me pondering somewhat. I realized that I don't ever want to be friends w/Miss M's family again - I cannot abide someone that constantly rags on others and then is sweet to their face. I do want to be able to keep up with Miss M herself though - and through mutual friends, I can. The upshot to seeing 'chef's' son (and even the ex-wife - I used to abhor her, and I wouldn't trust her w/anything of value to this day), I realized I don't care about the 'chef' anymore - he's made his bed w/his new wife now (yes, he was dating her probably before I fully moved out and they were engaged and married earlier this year...) I don't expect it will last, but at least I won't have to deal with his mess anymore. I was pleasant to the ex-wife and the daughter - and realizing I didn't feel the angst and pain anymore, I think I have finally forgiven myself. I was my own worst critic - even though I didn't do anything besides love and support the wrong person to distraction and the neglect of my own soul/needs...I would beat myself up and be hurt. Seeing them and being pleasant w/o actually trying was very freeing.

A couple of months ago, as I was preparing to move back into the city, I promised myself that never again would I treat someone I loved better than I treated myself. I was going to be number 1. I was not going to bankrupt my emotional account on someone else and leave nothing for me. It sounds selfish, I know. But, if I make sure my needs are met, I won't be left w/nothing should my partner not reciprocate. I am not saying it's easy for me - I am a deeply, DEEPLY romantic soul and it's not that I won't be a loving and romantic person to the fellow. And surely, the right guy would also be treating himself with respect and love so that it is on an equal ground we met and perhaps grew.

I have been too easily snowed by some over the top romantic gesture that the memory of gave me leave to give the guy a pass on future lapses of consideration. It's going to sound possibly bitchy and mayhap a bit spoiled but guys: don't start w/the big gesture and then fade it to nothing. Start small and work your way up. If you love someone, you nurture and tend the relationship. You don't throw a couple of hundred dollar flower arrangements and a mix c.d. in the first couple of months and then forget the monthiversary/little benchmarks...especially when you are dangling the 'love' & 'forever'/'always' carrot and want to move in together... And for the love of the Universe - DON'T CHEAT. If you want out, get out PRIOR to messing around. It will hurt - mmmhhmmm, it will - but jetting the relationship before even swapping spit w/another person will get you so much more respect. As well as that - before getting involved w/someone that had been a friend for years - think about the ramifications: the mutual friends, if you really want to pursue a life w/that person, if there are kids involved, what would happen if it ended, etc... All of those things matter. I feel pretty certain that I will not live w/someone (like move in together and give up my individual home) ever again. Well, maybe if it were a duplex...my stuff on one side, his on the other... :)

So, what have I learned? The clarity that I alluded to in the subject line? That fretting that I would 'never' see certain people again was wasted effort - if our paths are meant to cross, they will. I wish Miss M and the Youngest all the best and that hopefully I do matter to them, as they matter to me. By extrapolation, I needn't fear 'never' falling in love again, I will, but I will do it smarter and more consciously and that little things mean so much more than some splashy thing that can't be replicated when the going gets rough. Having somebody that wants to be there to snuggle on a rainy Sunday and says so, even if they can't actually be there. Somebody that is just thoughtful and lets you know they are thinking about you. Oh, heck, now that fantastic song "Somebody" by Depeche Mode is a delightful earworm flowing through my cranial regions. Truly a wonderful and beautiful song.

(looka me! I blogged!) Fleur/Wendl

throwdown...

2008-11-24T16:13:02Z

Good gravy Marie - I am AWFUL at this stuff...I will actually post (or maybe even finish the other bit about my grandfather...?) something almost worthy of reading - should I have any readers...LOL!

Or maybe I will post pics...who knows.

I am headed to New Orleans on Dec 11-14 to kick off the traces and walk around in my soul's home for a few days. There are a few festivals going on and I do believe my bestest friend is going w/me, too! Such a deal! Being back after too long an absence will be balm to my heart & soul. I want to get back into a regular pattern of visiting. It would be nice if the economy would frikkin' start to settle its nerves and move upwardly so that I knew I could afford to do so.

Okay - back to the workload - is it Turkey time yet? I needs me some L-Tryptophan, STAT! ;)

Wendl, the roasted turkey addict

Writer's Block: I Love Lucy

2008-10-16T04:59:03Z

I Love Lucy premiered today in 1951, and has been on the air ever since. Although Lucille Ball and Desi Arnaz’s marriage didn’t last off the air, Lucy and Ricky are one of the great couples in television history. Who is your favorite TV couple?

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Morticia and Gomez Addams!!! No equal! :)
Wendy

I should be in bed...

2008-10-08T05:11:29Z

Caught a bit of the Nat'l Geog show on death/body disposal... I guess as this season tilts towards Samhain, the idea of death/dying/changing of seasons/end of the year (for us Witches anyway) takes hold in me. The cremation bit on the show reminded me of my grandfather's passing.
It's been over 13 years since his body gave out after being ravaged by metastasized lung cancer. Oddly enough it (the lung cancer) had been laying low, like Brer Fox after 2 years of trying to get him and failing. Well, it showed up again, but relocated, in his brain and liver. By the time he started exhibiting symptoms, it was all but over.

Why does it still, to this day so many years later, affect me? Well, he was my only grandfather. The only one I knew, he was my Mom's dad. My Dad's dad predeceased my birth by almost 10 years, my step-Dad's dad was not in our life. I was the first grandkid, I got to 'name' him. And to make it more interesting, at least I find it to be so, I had to travel across the ocean to meet him and my grandmother (and aunt and uncle). They were living in Spain, where my grandfather was working as a draftsman when I was born. When I was 6 months old, Mom & I grabbed a (from what I hear) hellish TWA flight from NYC to Lisbon, then on to Madrid. It was the later-mid 1960's - Franco was in power, the Guardia Civil were all over the place. Airports back then didn't have cushy airconditioned skyways - it was the stairway rolled up to the plane.

Well, there I was, enrobed in a pink snowsuit/hat plonked in my Mom's tired arms (did I mention the flight was hellish?). She achieves the top of the stairway from the plane's interior. Back on the ground, freshly emerged from the interior of Barajas Airport - my grandparents appear. My grandfather soooo excited to see his grandbaby - bolts for the jetway. Um, bad move, remember the Guardia Civil? They draw their guns, take aim and yell in Castillian at my grandfather to "Stop!" My grandmother, in turn, cries out to them (en Espanol) "It's his granddaughter, it's his granddaughter!" Well hallelujah, instead of a 'clean up on aisle 5' - the GC smile and wave him on and holster their weapons - bless the Spanish, they do understand children and new grandparents!

okay - gotta hit the bed - will finish this another time.

Blessings, W.

Writer's Block: Eat Your Vegetables

2008-10-06T16:36:31Z

The fall harvest is showing up in markets now, including many of the green vegetables children find so disgusting and yet are forced to eat. What is the most disgusting thing you’ve eaten, either by choice or against your will?

Submitted By bloodcurdling

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As a child - squash. Wouldn't eat it at the daycare...they called my mom and lamented that I wouldn't down the stuff. She (thankfully) returned "Then don't make her!" Nowadays, a properly steamed squash or similar is divine.

Nowadays, I will try many things, but still squeamish about snails and most offal cuts...not sure I could do it. I rank as 'total wuss' on the Zimmern scale.